Doing things and pretending to do things are, in fact, the same.
In the age of being busy, who isn’t regularly exposed to that claustrophobic fear that everyone else is doing so much whilst you do nothing? Although yesterday you reached level 4 on Candy Crush Saga. Who can avoid the comments of family and acquaintances: what have you been doing recently, oh I’m so busy it’s awful, you’re so lucky you don’t work as much as I do etc etc etc.
So began 2017 and I decided it was the year to start doing things. I’ve pretty much become an expert. These are my top tips:
- Leave and re-enter the house. A lot. If you don’t have a reason to go out, then just stand outside your door for a moment and maybe shout a bit so that the neighbours find you weird and you see the spyholes twitch. If it’s raining heavily this is even better, it’s a battle with the elements, nothing like war to make you feel alive.
- Dig out the mp3 player and those free headphones that came with your (now antique) digital camera, and get the music pumping whilst you walk. That 2001 pop classic gives you a new life perspective. Spend time walking FAST between different buildings in the city, entering and leaving with authority.
- Listen to very emotional music on the mp3. Like emotional popfolkrock. The people and things around you will take on a poetic beauty, and your own actions will acquire significance and elegance.
- Spend time typing documents. No, not a blog. Just documents. I really recommend downloading a couple of note-making apps and then you can spend ages choosing which one you like. The best let you organise your documents into folders. With labels.
- It’s important to move quickly. If you want to transition from the sofa to the biscuit cupboard, for instance, you should do this as if you were saving a child from an oncoming vehicle. Moving with purpose and agility.
- Order a selection of lanyards that you can waive around
- If you go to the airport, make sure you run down the moving walkway so people see how important it is that you make it to that connection flight because #worksmartplayhard #workworkwork #lifeontheroad
- Run everywhere. Move fast at all times so that you don’t notice that horrible empty space opening up in the ground behind you. Inside that empty space is the knowledge that you have no idea what you’re fucking doing. JUST KEEP MOVING.
Sure that was all really helpful. Still don’t know what you’re doing? Yep.
hannahberry.org 